wip: more cleanup

datfiles/limerick

@@ -1,15 +1,250 @@
+A progressive professor named Winners
+Held classes each evening for sinners.
+	They were graded and spaced
+	So the vile and debased
+Would not be held back by beginners.
+%
+A programmer down in Moline
+Said, I'm the match for any machine.
+	My secret's aversion,
+	To loops and recursion,
+Just acres of in-line routine.
+		-- W. J. Wilson
+%
+A guest in a household quite charmless
+Was informed its eccentric was harmless:
+	"If you're caught unawares
+	At the head of the stairs,
+Just remember, he's eyeless and armless."
+		-- Edward Gorey
+%
+A delighted, incredulous bride
+Remarked to her groom at her side :
+	"I never could quite
+	 Believe till tonight
+Our anatomies would coincide."
+%
+A dentist, young doctor Malone,
+Got a charming girl patient alone,
+	And, in his depravity,
+	Filled the wrong cavity.
+God, how his practice has grown.
+%
+A despairing old landlord named Fyfe,
+With a frigid and quarrelsome wife,
+	Let his third-story front,
+	To a willing young cunt,
+Who supplied him a new lease on life!
+%
+A desperate spinster from Clare
+Once knelt in the moonlight all bare,
+	And prayed to her God
+	For a romp on the sod--
+'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.
+%
+A distinguished professor from Swarthmore
+Got along with a sexy young sophomore.
+	As quick as a glance
+	He stripped off his pants,
+But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.
+%
+A doctoral student from Buckingham
+Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
+	But a dropout from paree
+	Taught him Gamahuchee
+So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.
+%
+A do-it-yourselfer named Alice,
+Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
+	She blew her vagina
+	To South Carolina,
+And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas.
+
+A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill,
+Used two dynamite sticks for a dil.
+	They found her vagina,
+	In South Carolina,
+And part of her ass in Brazil.
+%
+A dolly in Dallas named Alice,
+Whose overworked sex is all callous,
+	Wore the foreskin away
+	On uncircumcised Ray,
+Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.
+%
+A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
+Wished to foster an aura of menace.
+	To make people afraid
+	He wore gloves of grey suede
+And white footgear intended for tennis.
+		-- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"
+%
+A couple was fishing near Clombe
+When the maid began looking quite glum,
+	And said, "Bother the fish!
+	I'd rather coish!"
+Which they did -- which was why they had come.
+%
+A cowhand way out in Seattle
+Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
+	He said, "No, I can't fuck
+	A lamb or a duck,
+But golly! it just fits the cattle."
+%
+A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
+And had an affair with a Saracen.
+	She was not oversexed,
+	Or jealous or vexed,
+She just wanted to make a comparison.
+%
+A CS student named Lin
+Had a prick the size of a pin
+	It was no good for girls
+	But just great for squirrels
+Who squealed with delight with it in.
+%
+A cute little twerp from Samoa
+Had a cock of one inch and no moa.
+	It was good for keyholes
+	And debutantes' peeholes
+But not worth a damn on a whoa.
+%
+A daredevil skater named Lowe,
+Leaps barrels arranged in the snow,
+	But is proudest of doing,
+	Some incredible screwing,
+Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row!
+%
+A deep-throated virgin named Netty
+Was sucking a cock on the jetty.
+	She said, "It tastes nice,
+	Much better than rice,
+Though not quite as good as spaghetti."
+%
+A cocksucking steno named Beeman
+Remarked as she swallowed my semen :
+	"On my minuscule salary
+	 I must watch every calorie,
+So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"
+%
+A computer called Illiac4
+Had a rather tough bug in its core.
+	It chewed up its cards
+	And spewed yards and yards
+Of illegible tape on the floor.
+%
+A computer, to print out a fact,
+Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
+	But this output can be
+	No more than debris,
+If the input was short of exact.
+		-- Gigo
+%
+A contortionist hailing from Lynch
+Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
+	A foot cost a quid --
+	He could and he did
+Stretch it to three in a pinch.
+%
+A corpulent maiden named Kroll
+Had a notion exceedingly droll:
+	At a masquerade ball,
+	Dressed in nothing at all,
+She backed in as a Parker House roll.
+%
+A clergical student named Simms
+Hums liturgical tunes while he rims:
+	A nice piece of ass
+	Gets the B-Minor Mass ...
+All the others get Anglican hymns.
+%
+A clerical student named Pryne
+Through pain sought to reach the divine:
+	He wore a hair shirt,
+	Quite often ate dirt,
+And bathed every Friday in brine.
+		-- Edward Gorey
+%
+A clever young man named Eugene
+Invented a jack-off machine.
+	On the twenty-third stroke
+	The fuckin' thing broke
+And beat both his balls to a cream.
+%
+A certain young man, it was noted,
+Went about in the heat thickly-coated;
+	He said, "You may scoff,
+	But I shan't take it off;
+Underneath I am horribly bloated."
+		-- Edward Gorey
+%
+A certain young person of Ghent,
+Uncertain if lady or gent,
+	Shows his organs at large
+	For a small handling charge
+To assist him in paying the rent.
+%
+A certain young sheik of Algiers
+Said to his harem, "My dears,
+	Though you may think it odd of me,
+	I'm tired of just sodomy
+Let's try straight fucking."  (loud cheers!)
+%
+A chap down in Oklahoma
+Had a cock that could sing La Paloma,
+	But the sweetness of pitch
+	Couldn't put off the hitch
+Of impotence, size and aroma.
+%
+A charmer from old Amarillo,
+Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow,
+	Decided one day
+	That to keep men away
+She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.
+%
+A chippy who worked in Black Bluff
+Had a pussy as large as a muff.
+	It had room for both hands
+	And some intimate glands,
+And was soft as a little duck's fluff.
+%
+A busy young lady named Gloria
+Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier
+	And then by six men,
+	Sir Gerald again,
+And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.
+%
+A cabin boy on an old clipper
+Grew steadily flipper and flipper.
+	He plugged up his ass
+	With fragments of glass
+And thus circumcised his old skipper.
+%
+A bobby of Nottingham Junction
+Whose organ had long ceased to function
+	Deceived his good wife
+	For the rest of her life
+With the aid of his constable's truncheon.
+%
+A broken-down harlot named Tupps
+Was heard to confess in her cups:
+	"The height of my folly
+	Was fucking a collie --
+But I got a nice price for the pups."
+%
+A burleyque dancer, a pip
+Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
+	But she read science fiction
+	And died of constriction
+Attempting a Moebius strip.
+		-- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"
+%
 A bather whose clothing was strewed
 By breezes that left her quite nude,
 	Saw a man come along
 	And, unless I'm quite wrong,
 You expected this line to be lewd.
 %
-A beat schizophrenic said, "Me?
-I am not I, I'm a tree."
-	But another, more sane,
-	Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!"
-And covered his pants leg with pee.
-%
 A remarkable race are the Persians;
 They have such peculiar diversions.
 	They make love the whole day
@@ -268,12 +503,6 @@ Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
 	But think nothing of that --
 You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm."
 %
-A bad little girl in Madrid,
-A most reprehensible kid,
-	Told her Tante Louise
-	That her cunt smelled like cheese,
-And the worst of it was that it did!
-%
 A bather whose clothing was strewed
 By breezes that left her quite nude,
 	Saw a man come along